when does courage become stupidity? when does pushing urself become foolishness? we admire all those great atheletes who seem to be able to do the impossible, those who push the boundry of human ability above what we know.but do we see the pain they go through to reach there? how many of these great atheletes have pushed themselves so much, forced their boidies to do what it was not able to do so much so that before 40 they have the bodies of pple 20 years older than them. i think that yes, it is noble and admirable for pple to love a sport so much that it becomes the focal pt in thier lives but i think that it is more admirable to know when to stop. how long can a person push before the inevitable breakdown of the body begins? like c'mon lah. we are only competing on a national schools level. is it really worth it? you may cry tears of frustration now that we do not allow you to push ur body too much but how much more bitter will ur tears be if we didnt and u ended up unable to perform to your full ability during the nationals? i know you are not angry with us but with yourself that your body is unable to keep up with your mind but thats the way it is. i think that what makes a great athelete is if one is able to balance the abilities of both mind and body and build up on both so that it wont be a case of one leading the other by so much that the weaker one suffers... i dunno lah just that we care alot about you even if you dont care about yourself and we are just trying to help you understand that everyone has a limit, that no matter how much you wish you were, you are not superwoman.

anyway the weather is so nice now! its raining like mad and so cooling haha... simon's parents drove me home so i din get to eat lunch but funnily enough, im not hungry at all haha... just ate a banana and granola bar and im all set heh. i feel like sleeping leh... like so nice to sleep now but i told myself i will study! so while i was deciding decided to go online haha... we did like lots of sprints for trg today... and i have to say tt alot of them has really improved alot... angele was saying maybe cos breat pulling helps qt alot tts y marcus all have improved so much... but im happy for them! yah... im glad tt they are improving lah.. was qt happy with my sprint oso... like the last one i did a 100m sprint and i did 1.23 which is qt ok got me considering tt it was the end of trg... i really hope i will be able to do under 1.20!! haha... actually getting into fnals is not so impt lah. i just feel a sense of acheivement each time i do something well :) i will try to force leon to train with me every morning during the church camp haha... i think he shld be not bad lah! yupps heh. oh man im really tired and sleepy... think i will sleep lah haha... soon soon. yst i went out with dex haha... den i saw sam chin and co and they thot dex was my swimming junior! haha... see dex u look younger then me ok!!!and i spent so much money ok!! i feel so bad now but i bot the alanis morisette cd!! haha and i bot a nice pair of earrings! its so nice lah ok. tho stupid dex and zy kept laughing at me... like wadeva ok. they are just jealous!!! haha... i will wear them with my nice hat for trg nxt week!!! michelle said my hat is nice too! yay haha... ok nvm. if i say anymore i will sound like im in denial haha WHICH IM NOT.

i was looking thru fotos yst. fotos tt we took last yr and stuff... was like just seeing tt time when we were at sentosa. how happy we looked tgt... and like can see gobs like sitting with dan and everyone like such good frens. who would have thot last yr tt we would be in the situation now?with everyone like avoiding issues and stuff. i was like seeing the pictures of us when we used to be recs, when we were like oh yah we would be friends forever and now just look at us. im not really bitter anymore just tt its sad to see what it could have been and what it has become. and something i think maybe shella is right. its not thier fault but mine. after all, its so selfish of me to begrudge them thier happiness when its just a phase in life tt pple find a partner and stuff.but like i cant help it? its when u dunno whether you are really wanted in thier little happy world of each other. and maybe its not really the thing tt tey are attached just tt they are ike so close to each other that im like some outsider in thier grp like wads the pt when i sit with them and have absolutely nothing to say.our paths have diverged and i guess it was good memories while it lasted so when i look at those fotos just i dunno.. bittersweet feeling? but i think that my truest fren that i have in vj is dexter. as in i can see us keeping in touch until we become adults or until he commits suicide whichever comes first haha. someone asked me once how is it possible for friendship can be quantified but i mean, you will know one lor... if someone is someone worth the effort to hold on to.oh wells. no pt thinking abt the future when the future might end tomorrow. i miss the indian guys haha...they always make me laugh :)